My friend Don Kee applied for a job in the UN, hoping for grade P2. After a wait of 17 years, during which he filled in 265 forms, because he did not know anyone on the inside, he finally got unlucky. Here is Don at the office:

However, Don resigned from the UN when he saw the lunch facilities at Cafe Nosebag, and is now studying for his Masters in Maladministration at the University of Ears Anglia. He will soon be unleashed on some unsuspecting NGO, where he will bray about his past achievements with Ban Kee Moonshine.

Here is Don relaxing with friends (he has burned ears, because I am talking about him) :

Now, some tracking tips from Interpol. This is how you can tell if Don has been at your vegetable patch:

For comparative analysis, see below. This is not Don Kee. You can tell from his feet.

And finally, here is Don’s Uncle Black Beard, which is a bit odd if you think about it. I have no idea how he got in here. Probably on a rope.

Next week: ‘Don Kee Goes To Blackpool’ (and doesn’t come back).