Here is Fernando Times having a little lie down during today’s Big Match with Liversausage FC. As you can see, Fernando is doing some sums. This is essential when you is a Top Golgeta. Pity he didn’t Getagol though.

Next week: How to buy a little house in London. Actually, probably not that little.

Breaking newboys: We’ve just heard that Liversausage won by 0-1. That’s all from the Sports Desk.