Monthly Archives: March 2010

A Tale of 2 Kennels

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Once upon a winter, there was a Transylvanian sheepdog named GOO GOO…

who was SO BORED at being CHAINED UP all day…

that he chewed his KENNEL to BITS (or so they said).

“Now listen here,” said A Friend, tickling him tummet, “I think you’ll need a NEW kennel before next winter. I’ll see what i can do.”

“Up a bit,” said Goo Goo

“So, see you in a few months Goo Goo.”

“You tourist,” said Goo Goo.

I

But supplies supplies..

Goo Goo’s Friend came back a few monthlies later, when it was warming uppity..

… and spoke to the Sleepy Farmer (who was In Charge and NEVER WENT WALKIES).

“Please can we build a new home for Goo Goo?” (he said this several times, actually).

“OK, and then will you SHUT UP?” replied the Sleepy Farmer.

“Who, me?” said Goo Goo’s Friend.

And just LOOK what happened next…

“I do like tourists,” said Goo Goo. “Got any bones?”

“Guys, it’s facing the wrong way,” said Goo Goo. “I need to watch the chickens.”

“And guys, how about some flowers, perhaps a shrubbery?” said Goo Goo

“Happy now, TOURIST?” said the Sleepy Farmer

“Yes,” said Goo Goo’s Friend “I’ll buy you five beers to put in your belly.”

“Make it ten,” said the Farmer.

“I knew it,” said Goo Goo. “Corruption, always the same”

“However,” said Goo Goo, I can probably sell at a profit when I want to move…. location, location and all that.”

And even though at first he liked his new kennel, Goo Goo soon got BORED being IN IT.
So he came outside and practised his DOGA (that’s like yoga, only more furry).

Finally, he had a VERY GOOD IDEA, and he said to himself:

“By next summer, I’ll chew this kennel to BITS.”

The End
Pics by Angela
Story by Charles Chickens

Conjunctivipuss

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There are four street cats outside the block where Angela and I live, in Khartoum.
Their names are:
Sockets, Pockets, Lockets and Rockets.
(They chose these names, not us).

Two of them have conjunctivitis.
We phoned a vet for advice, and she said:

a) wash their eyes with saline solution, then
b) swab their eyes with antibiotic cream Eg. Tetracycline

You can imagine what the cats said.
Here they are, discussing whether to co-operate.

As you can see, Lockets’ eyes glow in the dark (she had just eaten a radioactive mouse).
The other guys said “What the…”

But back to the story.
Sockets is the guy up front and he said, “We’ll do that stuff if you put us on the Internet. Deal?”
“Deal,” we said.
Then he said, “And we need to play with string to loosen up.”
“Deal,” we said.

So we played with string for a bit, and later we did the medical stuff. Wash and swab, all that.
Afterwards, we said to Sockets: “Now it’s time for a close-up. Perhaps you should wash your face.”
He said: “Get lost, everyone will think I’m a pussy.”

UN seen nothing yet

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Another day spent blackening pages, as Beckett said, working on draft 2 of my novel. It’s coming.

My jog buddy James is back in town, we ran 4.7 miles around Khartoum tonight, catching up, but not with the donkeys.

Angela returned from 4 days in Darfur, where she endured the usual. Sorry, enjoyed.

Mohammed called, asking me when I’m going to play blues with his band in the park down the block. We had a jam the other day, even the zoo lions wagged their tails. They requested ‘Tiger Feet’.

For dinner, something new and yummy: Za’atar (Arabic: زعتر‎). As you may (not) know, it’s dried herbs, mixed together with sesame seeds and salt, and eaten by dipping rough bread in olive oil, then dipping it in the Za’atar. Used in Arab cuisine since medieval times, popular throughout the Middle East and Levant, and now in apartment 777, Street 41, Khartoum 2. So please drop in, tune up, jump out.

And finally, students in Darfur sure know how to pardee:

Damage: On 04 Mar 10 at about 11:30 hrs, students of Nyala University along the Jebel Mara road were throwing stones/objects at UN vehicles expressing their delight in regards to the completion of their final exams. Some UN vehicles incurred slight damages. UN has been informed and the incident was reported to Police.

Frisbee friends, Khartoum

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In this pic, you can see the England frisbee team, ready for tonight’s Egypt friendly.   We all refused to shake hands with Pumpkin the Donkey who lives in a shed nearby, because he hasn’t got any.   I’m the handsome guy taking the picture. Angela’s out of town. That’s why we lost. Plus that little kid in yellow, what a goal-hanger. I’m going to put some butter on his fingers next week. More recipes soon.

Khartoum at dawn

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I think that’s the moon in the pic, however, still up.
Took this just after Angela left for Darfur on an early flight. Drank my coffee on our balcony, watching two Black Kites building a nest in a palm tree.
Went running later, Khartoum is all dust and donkeys.
Easier than usual though, this time, perhaps because jog buddy JC was out of town, scooping the news.
Struck me that we probably talk too much, or I do, on our runs, hence they are hard going.
Struck me that running solo is more like meditation, time to focus on that tricky chapter.
Struck me that I better watch where I’m going, because donkeys can kick sideways. Grey noses, black belts.
If you don’t run, try it. Life falls into place. Especially when you fall in a hole.

Tiger Tiger

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Once upon a kitten, I found a tiny Tiger on a street corner in Jakarta, full of fleas (and several meeows).

I brought him home to live in one of these, with my wife and I:

Where he spent the next 2 years learning to play guitar and doing this:

When it was time to leave Jakarta, we took him to live in rural Romania, where Everything Was Different And A Bit More Interesting for an urban puss…

Nevertheless, for Tiger, some things remain the same.

He now spends his days answering fan mail and doing this:

As they say in Indonesia: “Sama sama.”

Meeow for now.